Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Entry for January 23,2006

Entry for January 23, 2006
Well back to work and boy am I tired!!!!!! Slept a couple hours today then had to get up to pump then tried to sleep a little bit more but only got about another hour of sleep then had to get up again and can not go back to bed till tonight ughhhhh, It went fine had 2 cokes and licked icing off my cupcake for loads of sugar to stay awake lol. Went to see Caitlin before I went in and she is doing good. She is at 760 grams so about 1lb 11 oz still. They went up on her feedings today so it is at 12.3 cc's. I am not able to go see her today :( because Dillon is sick and had to stay home with him, hopefully Dillon willbe well enough tomorrow to go to school so I can go tomorrow. Will update tomorrow how her night went.

Entry for January 22,2006

Entry for January 22, 2006
Not much today has changed. Caitlin is still doing good, just hoping she will get off her CPAP agin real soon. I ordered her a whole bunch of micro preemie cloths today online so she should be in her new outfits by next week hopefully!!! Her feeds are going good still and really not to much has changed. I have not got to see her yet today because Dillon is sick and I could not bring him in today. I will probably go in tonight before I have to go to work. Tonight is my first night back, kind of excited but I am sure I will really be tired. Well off for a nap.

Just to show how small Caitlin still is.

Daddy's hand next to Caitlin's hand

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Entry for January 21,2006

Entry for January 21, 2006
Just wanted to post really wuick, I am so tired. We just got home and it is almost 9:00 pm. We went to the funeral this morning, it was realy nice and I was actually not to bad. I was very sad but god really gave me strength to get through it and I did. I miss Madilyn so much and I wish she could be here with us but I know she is in a beautiful place and also Cailtin's angel the reason I know this is because Caitlin will sometimes be looking up almost like she is looking at someone and will just smile and smile and I think that it is Madilyn telling her something funny and just talking with her and playing with her. Billy really did a great service for us and we watched Madilyn go down to the ground. My sister and her boyfriend came,Julie- my other best friend,my Aunt Julie and her kids,chase,dylan and zach, and of course Billy, my old pastor he did the service. It was just very small. We wanted it to just be really intimate.
We went to go eat afterwords at el torito ,mmmmmmmmmmmmmm good then we went to go see Caitlin and we took Julie to see her for the first time, she couldn't belive how small she was but said what a cutie. She took some pictures also on her phone they came out cute. I also took soem pictures with Jesus holding Caitlin's hand and also putting his hand right by her to show just how small she is. Luckly she is gaining weight though. She is at 1lb12 oz just about. She is still on her CPAP as well but hr feedings are going good, I think the nurse said she was up to 11.5 cc's , quite a big difference from 1.5 cc's. They also sent ouot some blood work to see how her kiddney's are doing. They give her some kind of medicne to see how she does with it and take blood from her about an hour later and that can tell how well her kiddney's are doing. Kind of like a glucose test you get when you are about 28 weeks pg and that test is able to tell you if you have diabities or not.
Thats about it for today, will post the pictures tomorrow.
Ok editing to add, just got off phone with her nurse Jennifer and she said that they took out Caitlin's PIC line ( the iv that runs through her arm to right about where her heart is) and she is about 750 grams which is about 1lb 10 1/2 oz , so she kind of lost a little bit but nurse said that it was probably just the wight of the PIC line so she thinks she is about the smae weight. With Caitlin's PIC Line out she will now be able to wear cloths, but first she has to get off the humidifier so maybe by the end of the week . Now I just got to get her some more micro preemie cloths because even the preemie cloths are to big.

Entry for January 20,2006

Entry for January 20, 2006
Ok So Caitlin had to go back on CPAP because her blood gas's were not so good but
they said she will most likley go back to her Nasal Canula tonight or tomorrow, she had to get another blood transfusion so they said that probably had something to do with having to go back to CPAP. Tomorrow is Madilyns funeral. It is going to be super small all though we would like to invite everybody we kept it really small and just the intermediate family. Oh yes and Caitlin is 1lb 11 oz !! So she is gaining finally!!! We will see what her weight is at tonight!!!

Entry for January 19,2006

Miss Caitlin

Entry for January 19, 2006
Caitlin is off CPAP wooohoooo!!! She looked so pretty when I sa her. I was suprised when I got there. I knew she might be coming off but it still suprised me lol. She had her first eye exam today , of course they said immature eyes. She will get a re-check in a couple more weeks. She is doing really good though, her feeds are going good, she is at 9.2 cc's with 24 calorie fortifier. She totaly moves her head around now that she has freedom lol. She loves being off CPAP.

Such a pretty Girl

Entry for January 18,2006

Entry for January 18, 2006Well Caitlin seemes to be staying at about the same weight , she is about 1 lb 10 oz. She is now up to 9 cc's of milk. I need to add some extra fat to my meals to plump her up lol. She has been staying pretty stable. Tried holding her today but her CPAP was making it hard cause it kept coming out from her nose so I decided to go ahead and just put her back. I actually heard her cry though it was cute it was a little bit louder and longer so she has a cute little voice. They are finally able to wean a bit on her back up rate on her CPAP so that is good, so hopefully she is able to handle that and get lower settings and be able to go to nasel canula , that will be much smaller and much easier to hol her. also nurse says that if she keeps on tolerating her feeds as good as she has been that she will be taken off her iv's and maybe even get her PIC line out soon. The long iv that goes from her arm and threaded inside her arm up to her heart area. She will be able to wear cloths then to!!!!!!!!I started putting away my maternity cloths today. It was kind of sad because I didn't even get to wear half the stuff and they were all cute stuff to darn it Some of those things even still have tags on them. I do miss being pregnant still but I am so grateful that Caitlin is still wih us. She will be 5 weeks tomorrow, what a big girl. Gosh I can't believe it, it has all been so sureal and just a few more days till Madilyn's funeral.Oh also Dillon has fired me lol , we were watching Sponge Bob Square Pants and , Mr. Crab fired sponge bob , so then a few minutes later Dillon looked at me and said " Mommie your Fired!!!!!!!!!" Darn it, I really liked that job, I got rehired of course , who is he going to throw his tantrums for?????????

Entry for January 17,2006

Entry for January 17, 2006
Coasting along. Cailtin is still doing good!!! She started caffiene today to help her brady spells and apnea(brady is when heart rate drops below 100 and apnea is when they forget to breath.
She is 1lb10 oz!!! Slowly but surely she is gaining!!! My Sister Sheree and my mom came to visit Cailtin today, it was nice we also went to go eat like piggys at olive garden yum yum. We had a good day.
Thats about it not to much changes, also got to hold Cailtin today. I love snuggly time with her.Also went to go for my postpartum check up it was good, I asked my Dr about what we would be doing for my next pregnancy to prehaps try to prevent this from happening and he looked at me like I was crazy to even think about having another baby. So my thoughts were pooey on him lol def will be going witha differnt Dr next pregnancy. He is a nice guy but just not the guy for me lol to negative for my taste. Well thats about it will try and post some pictures tomorrow.
Almost forgot, Caitlin pooped twice today, and one time even on the nurse as she was changing her diaper right before I held her, better her then me right ???lol

Entry for January 15, 2006

Daddy and Brother Dillon
Daddy and dillon are so tired they are sleeping right next to Caitlin's bed lol.

Caitlin snuggle UpThis is Caitlin all snuggled up, we were giving her a pacifier for the first time.
She looked so cute trying to suck on it and the pacifier is so small lol you could even hear
her sucking lol

Daddy's Wedding Ring On Caitlin

Entry for January 15, 2006
Not to much has changed today. She has been really stable and been a sleepy head the last couple days. she wil wake up here and there but for the most part she is sleeping beauty right now. Her weight is pretty much the same , she is at about 1lb 9 oz , I can not wait for her to really start gaining weight. They did decide to start giving her a diffeent fortifier that goes in my milk, it is 24 calories instead of 22. Hopefully that will fatten her up. Other then that, thats about it. We had a busy day. We went to church with Erika(my best friend) and her family then went to claim jumpers(yummmmy) to eat, then went to go see Caitlin thennnn we went to go see Jesus's sister and her new baby. So busy busy.ok off to bed

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Entry for January 14,2006

Entry for January 14, 2006
Not to much to update. Caitlin is being a good girl just staying the same.No Brady's today(when her heart rate drops real low , really quick) yesterday she had a few in the morning. Her feeding is still going good, they added a fortifier to my milk for a little extra calories and she is handeling that well. Jesus mom came to see her today, she liked her and wants to keep her, Ya Right lol. Well thats about it, We are going to go see Jesus sister tomorrow.She just had a baby on Wed, a little boy. One more week till Madilyn's funeral getting nervous not sure how I will be feeling, will be glad to finally bury her though it has been almost two months since I had her but we could not do the funeral any earlier because with me in the hospital i wasn't sure yet what was going to happen. ok enough for now got to go put my little monkey Dillon to bed now or vise versa , he will probably put me to sleep first lol

Entry for January 13,2006

Entry for January 13, 2006
Quick post, not to much has changed. Caitlin is doing good, she is getting abuteral treatments to help open up her lungs and breath better. Dillon also has to use abuteral when he gets sick because Dillon has asthma. She is 7.2 cc's on her feeds and now getting a fortifier to add more calories. I got to hold her again tonight, she is so cute and even heard her cry a little bit, kind of like a little kitten. Also she got to try to suck on her very first pacifier tonight, she looked so cute sucking on it and the pacifier is so small. She was wide awake today also. Grandma Caryn came today and held her little hand and then Dillon's God Parent's, (my best friend)Erika, and David came to visit her tonight, it was nice.I also got to change diaper and clean her little face. lots of fun. Well thats about it not to much has changed, we might wait a little bit for nasel canula just because she is not quite ready but soon!!!!!

Entry for January 11,2006

Entry for January 11, 2006
Good News Today!!!! We got her tube out from her mouth so she is off the ventilater!!!! She is now on CPAP , so she still gets her oxigen and it still helps keep her lungs open but it is another big milestone for Miss Caitlin!!!!!!!!! She looked so pretty, she has the cutest little mouth and she wiggles her tongue alot lol she likes ton make little O's with her mouth. Such a pretty lady!!!!!!Next step will be on a nasel canula it is a bit smaller and won'e cover so much of her face. Don't forget to take a peek at the pictures down below.

Caitlin with no tube!!!!!!!!!

Entry for January 10,2006

Entry for January 10, 2006
Good Day today!!! Diana our nurse from the other hospital came to visit Cailtin today and she got Cailtin such a cute outfit!!!!!! It was really nice to see her!!!!!I got to hold Cailtin for the first time as well, it was great. She is so tiny it was like holding a baby kitten.We might be getting to switch to CPAP in a couple days!!!! that means no more tube in Cailtins mouth!!!!!!! They were going to try to do it today but they decided not to because she just wasn't quite ready. She is doing so good on her new ventilater though she has been pretty low on oxigen which is great and she has been having a poopey pretty much every day so that is a god sign. Cailtin is up to 5.5 cc's now of milk getting much more!!!!!!!Well thats about it, look for all the pictures down below.

Miss Caitlin on Mommie

Caitlin's Best buddy Diana,Mommie and Caitlin
This is a picture of Mommie,Caitlin, and our Nurse from the other Hospital, she came to visit us today, so happy!!!!!!

Daddy,Mommy and Caitlin!!

Here's Caitlin!!!!!!!

Kisses from Mommy

Silly Picture of Dillon
Who's Got Big Teeffffff??????

Entry for January 10,2006

Mommie and Caitlin
This is Mommies First Time Holding Caitlin!!!!!!!

Entry for January 09,2006

Entry for January 09, 2006
Caitlin is having a good day. She has been pretty stable and doing good on her new ventilater. I have not got to hold her yet but that's ok. We want her to get a little bit more used to her new breathing machine so we don't want to put to much on her at once. Maybe in the next couple years. She is off alot of her meds, she is off her insulin(for her surgar levels) her dopimine(for her low blood pressure) also she is off her fetnyl(sedatinon to relax her) so we are going the right direction. Cailtin's nurse today said how fiesty she was and that is a good sign because it means she is a fighter. Cailtin definitly has a mind of her own because she always lets you know what she wants. Diana, our favorite nurse from the other hopsital and our new buddy is coming to see Cailtin tomorrow. I told Cailtin and she is very excited and can't wait. I bought her some little onsies and socks for her to wear in a couple more weeks. They are so small and still might be a little big on her. It is hard to find preemie cloths. Today i went to the mortuary to finalize arrangments for Madilyns Funeral and also had to get the girls birth certificates and Maddie's death certificate, that was a bit hard but some how I got through it strong. I picked a spot for where Madilyn will be burried next to a whole bunch of other babies and in the sun. That way she will have alot of little buddies to play with and the sun will shine on her. We are going to bury her in a couple weeks. I never thought I would have to bury any of my children. The mommies and daddies are suppose to go first but I guess things happen for a reason. Madilyn will always be Cailtins little shadow so she can watch over Cailtin and protect her. Whenever I think of Cailtin I always think of Madilyn as well, she will forever be a part of us and will never be forgotton. Well better get my zzzzzzzzzzz's

Entry for January 08,2006

Entry for January 08, 2006
Big Day Today!!!!! Miss Cailtin is off her Oscilater machine!!!! She is now on a conventinal ventilater!!! We were so excited to see it switched when we went in to visit her!!!!That is a good step in the right direction. If they would not have been able to get her off that for awhile then they would have had to give her a steroid that could possibly cause slow brain development. Also we might be able to hold her tomorrow!!!! We will see how her night goes and if she has a good night that it will be cuddle time for mommie and Caitlin!!!!!!! She looked so cute but she cried alot today I wanted to just hold her and comfort her , you can not hear her cry because of the tube in her mouth but you can see her little face scrunch up and she even gets a little red and her mouth opens wide. Also she did 2 poopeys today!!!!!! I know kind of funny to be excited about poopey pants but it is a good thing because that area is working well!!!!!!Billy and his neice came by to see Cailtin and do a prayer for her. It is always nice to see them. Will post update tomorrow ;0)

Entry for January 07,2006

Entry for January 07, 2006
Caitlin doing ok , I just called to check on her and she is at 33 % oxigen and lower on ventalater settings. She had a little dip earlier she does no longer like being on her back, when they put her on her back she had big desat and had to go all the way up to 100% oxigen and up on ventilater settings. They had to turn her back and slowly wean her back down. Very picky Miss Caitlin is lol. We were trying to wean her so we could take her off the osicalter but not sure when that will happen.Thats about it for today. Here is a really pretty story I came across-------DO YOU SMELL THAT?A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news.That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing.At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs."I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could. "There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one!" Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived.She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on."No! No!" was all Diana could say.She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away.But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw,' the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story.One Blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ballpark where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing.As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent.Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, "Do you smell that?" Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain." Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?" Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain."Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

Entry for January 06,2006

Entry for January 06, 2006
Hi, Quick update. Cailtin's blood pressure is still doing really good, pretty stable. They are going to remove her line from her tummy tonight, the one that takes her blood pressure and not sure whatelse they use that line for so it is good though because they said one less risk for infection. Also they are going to try to wean her off her oscilater tomorrow or the next, possibly tonight but they said probably not. If she is able to get off the big oscilater then we can start to hold her!!!!! She also did a poopey today!!! Yeah it was pretty messy lol. It is good though because that means her bowels are working good. Also she is on diaretics(sp?) to help her urinate a lot so she can get rid of some fluid and also to help her lungs.She is def peeing up a storm, you could tell that she lost alot of fluid because she looked really skinny today and even lost some weight , I belive she was about 1lb 7oz or somehting close to that. Can't wait for her to put on some actual weight so she can be a chunky monkey and gets more better. Oh another thing she has decided that she no longer likes to be on her back. The nurse tried to put her on her back and she would keep desating so she had to switch her on her side a bit, so her prefrence is her side and loves being on her tummy. hmmmm wonder what to do when we get to bring her home??? I can already see that she will be trying to get her way all the time lol That is about it, I guess that wasn't such a quick update lol. Ok bed time.

Entry for January 05,2006

Entry for January 05, 2006
Well not to much to report today, Caitlin is doing well. She is low on her oxigen which is good. They did another chest X-ray today and it is clearing up on the right lung, they are still not to good but hoping it will resolve soon. Dr's want her off her osilater already but that will take awhile, They will try to wean her soon not sure how soon but they said if they can't get her off they might have to give her a certain steroid that could possibly cause slow brain development. Hopefully we won't have to go that route so lots of prayers please ;)Her blood pressure has been really great so the surgery def helped in that aspect for sure. Daddy got to change her diaper today for the first time. He was very nervous lol, he even gave her a little cleaning on her face. She had one eye opened today she looked so cute. She was on her tummy for a bit she has been back and forth tummy, then back. She really likes being on her tummy but she can't have to much of that.We went to the mall today to get me some fat cloths lol and Dillon decided to choke, not fun I got really scared he was turning color on me and luckly not to long, Dillon got scared but he was better in a few minutes.Well thats about it. Will report tomorrow.

Entry for January 04,2006

Entry for January 04, 2006
Just a quick post because I am soooooo tired.Cailtin got her PDA surgery today and went good, it was quick, it actuall took longer for them to set up then the actual surgery.Dr said her blood pressure was already showing a good difference after her surgery. She still has had a couple desats but that is normal and hopefully they will slow down soon. When I went to go see her after surgery she was on her tummy and I could see her hairy back lol. She sure is a fur ball lol. Her lungs are still not to good, well the right one but hopefully that will clear up soon. She is down on her oxigen again so that is good. Will post more tomorrow to report how she is doing day after surgery. Cailtin might be going back to our other hospital. I really am not sure though, it seems like where she is at is thinking she is going back but from what I understood her Dr wanted her to stay at the new hospital??????But whenever I talk to some of the nurses and Dr's they say she is going back , but then one Dr said she is maybe staying for a bit hmmmmmmm, really do not know. Should know in a few days probably more what is going on with that. Ok off to sleep , well good pumping first then to get my zzzzz's

Entry for January 03,2006

Entry for January 03, 2006
Caitlin is getting transfered to different hospital tonight. The Dr thought it would be better for Cailtin to be going to a higher level NICU, its a childrens hospital. They are able to do surgerys over there and they have alittle bit more staff so she will have more consitency. I am sad though because we are going to miss Caitlin's favorite nurse Diana so so much, We got really attched to her and now we have to move :( Caitlin is probably going to need the PDA suregery to close her little duct in her heart. It seems that it has opened back up. I am nervous for that but because it is common it makes me feel a little bit better but still it is hard to think that she has to have a little surgery.Well will update later tonight or tomorrow about how the new hospital is, it is kind of late right now so probably will go to sleep when we get home.

Entry for January 02,2006

Entry for January 02, 2006
Well Miss Caitlin has had a good last couple days thank goodness!!She is coming down a little bit on her oxigen, my last call at about 4 pm Caitlin was on about 35% oxigen, alot better then 100%, we went to see her today with Erika and David and they couldn't believe how tiny , she of course looked bigger then a couple weeks ago but she is still so tiny. Also I got to change her diaper for the first time yesterday 2 times!!!! It was a little bit scary because she is so fragil. She will probably get another scan on her head some time this week to check for any brain bleeds. Thats about it for today not to much to report, so no news is always god news ;0)

Entry for December 31, 2005

Entry for December 31, 2005
AtelectasisDefinition Atelectasis is a collapse of lung tissue affecting part or all of one lung. This condition prevents normal oxygen absoption to healthy tissues. Description Atelectasis can result from an obstruction (blockage) of the airways that affects tiny air scas called alveoli. Alveoli are very thin-walled and contain a rich blood supply. They are important for lung function, since their purpose is the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide. When the airways are blocked by a mucous "plug," foreign object, or tumor, the alveoli are unable to fill with air and collapse of lung tissue can occur in the affected area. Atelectasis is a potential complication following surgery, especially in individuals who have undergone chest or abdominal operations resulting in associated abdominal or chest pain during breathing. Congenital atelectasis can result from a failure of the lungs to expand at birth. This congenital condition may be localized or may affect all of both lungs.Causes & symptoms Causes of atelectasis include insufficient attemps at respiration by the newborn, bronchial obstruction, or absence of surfactant (a substance secreted by alveoli that maintains the stability of lung tissue by reducing the surface tension of fluids that coat the lung). This lack of surfactant reduces the surface area available for effective gas exchange causing it to collapse if severe. Pressure on the lung from fluid or air can cause atelectasis as well as obstruction of lung air passages by thick mucus resulting from various infections and lung diseases. Tumors and inhaled objects can also cause obstruction of the airway, leading to atelectasis.Anyone undergoing chest or abdominal surgery using general anesthesia is at risk to develop atelectasis, since breathing is often shallow after surgery to avoid pain from the surgical incision. Any significant decrease in airflow to the alveoli contributes to pooling of secretions, which in turn can cause infection. Chest injuries causing shallow breathing, including fractured ribs, can cause atelectasis. Common symptoms of atelectasis include shortness of breath and decreased chest wall expansion. If atelectasis only afects a small area of the lung, symptoms are ususally minimal. If the condition affects a large area of the lung and develops quickly, the individual may turn blue (cyanotic) or pale, have extreme shortness of breath, and feel a stabbing pain on the affected side. Fever and increased heart rate may be present if infection accompanies atelectasis. Diagnosis To diagnose atelectasis, a doctor starts by recording the patient's symptoms and performing a thorough physical examination. When the doctor listens to the lungs through a stethoscope (ausculation), diminished or bronchial breath sounds may be heard. By tapping on the chest (percussion) while listening through the stethoscope, the doctor can often tell if the lung is collapsed. A chest x ray that shows an airless area in the lung confirms the diagnosis of atelectasis. If an obstruction of the airways is suspected, a bronchoscopy may be performed to locate the cause of the blockage. Treatment If atelectasis is due to obstruction of the airway, the first step in treatment is to remove the cause of the blockage. This may be done by coughing, suctioning, or bronchoscopy. If a tumor is the cause of atelectasis, surgery may be necessary to remove it. Antibiotics are commonly used to fight the infection that often accompanies atelectasis. In cases where recurrent or long-lasting infection is disabling or where significant bleeding occurs, the affected section of the lung may be surgically removed.Prognosis If atelectasis is caused by a thick mucus "plug" or inhaled foreign object, the patient usually recovers completely when the blockage is removed. If it is caused by a tumor, the outcome depends on the nature of the tumor involved. If atelectasis is a result of surgery, other post-operative conditions and/or complications affect the prognosis.Prevention When recovering from surgery, frequent repositioning in bed along with coughing and deep breathing are important. Coughing and breathing deeply every one to two hours after any surgical operation with general anesthesia is recommended. Breathing exercises and the use of breathing devices, such as an incentive spirometer, may also help prevent atelectasis. Although smokers have a higher risk of developing atelectasis following surgery, stopping smoking six to eight weeks before surgery can help reduce the risk. Increasing fluid intake during respiratory illness or after surgery (by mouth or intravenously) helps lung secretions to remain loose. Increasing humidity may also be beneficial. Postural drainage techniques can be learned from a respiratory therapist or physical therapist and are a useful tool for anyone affected with a respiratiory illness that could cause atelectasis. Because foreign objects blocking the airway can cause atelectasis, it is very important to keep small objects that might be inhaled away from young children. Terms:AlveoliTiny air sacs in the lungs where gas exchange takes place between alveolar air and pulmonary blood within the capillariesBronchialRelating to the air passages to and from the lungs including the bronchi and the bronchioles.BronchoscopyA procedure in which a hollow, flexible tube is inserted into the airway to allow visual examination of the larynx, trachea, bronchi, and bronchioles. It is also used to collect specimens for biopsy or culturing and to remove airway obstructions.Incentive spirometerA breathing device that provides feedback on performance to encourage deep breathing.MucusA thin, slippery film secreted by the mucous membranes and glands.Postural drainageTechniques to help expel excess mucus by specific poistions of the body (that decrease the effects of gravity) combined with manual percussion and vibration over various parts of the lung.SurfactantA substance secreted by the alveoli in the lungs that reduces the surface tension of lung fluids, allowing gas exchange and helping maintain the elasticity of lung tissue.TumorAn abnormal growth of tissue resulting from uncontrolled, progressive multiplication of cells.Ok some info on Cailtin's Lungs, She had a chest X-ray done today because she was starting to not do so good, she would keep on desating, she was on 100% oxigen and still with a low number so the nurses and doc tried moving her tube around a bit and that helped a bit but because she was starting to get really uncomfortable , they found that she has Atelectasis, which means part of her lung is collapsed on her right side , not working good so hoping it will heal very soon and she will start to stabilize more, she was up and down today, when Jesus left she was at 67% and then when I got there she was on 100% and having a bad couple of hourse, not only was her oxigen not to good her blood pressure was through the roof, she had everyone busy for a bit. When I left she was starting to be better and her oxigen was at 65% so not to bad. Shbe has Diana tonight our most favorite nurse, of course they are all good we just grew really fond of Diana lol. Well thats about it, she started a steroid today also and that is suppose to help with her blood pressure, it seemed to be kicking in because she was startign to stabilize a bit for that. Grandma Caryn came today to visit, I was hoping Cailtin would open her eyes for her but of course not lol, Maybe next time. Ok off to good ol pumping and bed, Not a typical New Years Eve for us but we are just so happy Cailtin is still doing good minus a few down falls and alive!!!!!!!!!!!

Entry for December 30, 2005

Entry for December 30, 2005
Ok well today started out not to good Caitlin kept having a lot of desats and she just was not doing good, she was still at 100% oxigen and just was having a rough morning and early afternoon. Dr decided to put a little bit bigger tube for her oscilator and that really seemed to help her because she started getting better and they were able to wean her oxigen down a bit,Daddy got there about 12 pm and stayed with her for a little bit then mommie got to come and see and at about 5 pm when I got there she was at around 67% of oxigen so alot better then 100%. Caitlin had her eyes open when I got there and i would talk to her and she would just look around and roll them all over the place. She looks like such a little person with her eyes open and it makes her look more like a baby. She of course always looked like a baby, just a small little thing but with her eyes open she just looks so cute, especially when they are so wide open. I wonder what she is thinking or feeling. I just want to pick her up and cuddle with her so much, she is just so lovable. Well thats about it to report just kind of a scary morning but so glad she is getting alittle bit better. Today is her last day of the indocine medicine for her heart. She will get another scan again to make sure it fully closed also she will be getting another head scan as well to check again for any brain bleeds. Well hoping for some more good days ;0) There are a few new pictures down below this post.

Entry for December 30, 2005

Picture of Big Brother Dillon

Thought I would add a picture of big brother Dillon shaving , He loves Caitlin tons and tons already, he always tells us , " I wanna go see Cailin", he can't quite get that T in her name lol, def cute!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Entry for December 30, 2005

Here is another Picture of Caitlin
Can't see to much because she is
A little bit more covered but she
is still my pretty princess ;0)

Entry For December 30,2005

Caitlin sleeping.

This picture was taken on Dec 29th, She was not feeling good this day lots of desats,she was feeling yuckkkky but having a better day today later in the evening.

Entry for December 30, 2005

Caitlin with her eyes open, She is 2 weeks and 2 days old today!! 26 1/2 weeks gestation

“"It is hard to be brave," said Piglet, sniffing slightly, "when you're only Very Small.," Rabbit, who had begun to write very busily, looked up and said: "It is because you are very small that you will be Useful in the adventure before us."This is a quote someone posted and thought it fit Caitlin

Entry for December 29, 2005

Entry for December 29, 2005
Pulmonary Interstitial Emphysema Background: Pulmonary interstitial emphysema (PIE) is an iatrogenic pulmonary condition of the premature infant with immature lungs. PIE occurs almost exclusively with mechanical ventilation. The ventilator pressure used to keep the alveolar ducts open also may cause rupture of the alveolar duct (usually at the junction of the bronchiole and alveolar duct) and consequent escape of air into the pulmonary interstitium, lymphatics, and venous circulation.Pathophysiology: Immature lungs are underdeveloped and lack adequate surfactant to keep the alveolar ducts and early alveoli open on inspiration and expiration. The resulting diminished surface for transfer of gas and widespread atelectasis leads to inadequate transfer of carbon dioxide and oxygen across the epithelial surfaces to the pulmonary microvascular system. Methods to improve oxygen saturation include administering high concentrations of oxygen and expanding and maintaining that expansion of gas-exchanging surfaces of the lung using high levels of inhaled oxygen and positive pressure ventilation. Excessive intra-airway pressure may lead to leak from the alveolar ducts (primordial acini) into the lung interstitium. Once in the interstitium, the gas is picked up in the rich lymphatic network of the neonate and carried toward the pleural lymphatics and central bronchopleural lymphatics. PIE usually occurs early during ventilation, and most infants present in the first 72 hours with this abnormality. It is observed less frequently now because of treatment of immature babies with exogenous surfactant, which improves compliance of the lung (thus less ventilatory pressure is needed) and keeps the alveolar ducts open during both inspiration and expiration. It also assists in the recruitment of alveolar ducts to prevent areas of overinflation and underinflation. Currently, PIE is seen more often in infants on long-term ventilator therapy with uneven aeration and bronchopulmonary dysplasia (BPD) leading to air trapping and potential airspace rupture.Frequency: * In the US: Several decades ago, PIE was a common occurrence in infants with severe respiratory distress on ventilators. Currently, it is an uncommon occurrence because of treatment with surfactant and gentle ventilation as well as the availability of high-frequency oscillatory ventilation for infants who are difficult to maintain with conventional%2

Entry for December 27, 2005

Entry for December 27, 2005
Good news, Caitlin had another head ultra sound today and no brain bleeds!!!That is really good because our nurse said that most of them will incure about the first couple weeks of life and if not that normally they will not happen at all, of course there is always that small chance but she says pretty good chance she will not get one!!She started her indocine for her duct in her heart(pda)to try and close it so hoping that goes well. She had to stop her feedings while she is on her meds because one of the side affects from the indcine is that it can stop the blood flow or something to her bowel area so they do not want her to be feeding and then not be able to go to the bathroom cause that would just be a whole new mess of problems. We went to go see her today and she looks more bigger, her arms and everything I couldn't figure out if she was swollen or just actually getting bigger but she looked darn cute;0) We had our favorite nurse again today , Diana, I wish she could work every day!!!! full time schedule for nurses are only 3 days- 12 hour shifts so it doesn't give us a whole lot of days with her. She is so sweet though and so easy to talk to because she explains things really good to us and doesn't make us feel so lost. Plus you can tell Caitlin has already put a big dent in her heart and she really likes her, they like each other alot because Caitlin even seems more calm with Diana. Well thats about it for today, we can not wait to go see our pretty little princess tomorrow. She did get more toys today grandma Caryn brought her some cute wings and the cutest little pink poodle purse, very cute, will have to take a picture soon of all of her cute stuff she has.

Entry for December 26, 2005

Entry for December 26, 2005
ok Finally was done with Caitlins PIC Line about 6:30 or so, she did fine she was still sedated when I had called but the nurse said she was doing good, I must have called about 5 times today if not more, I think the nurse was thinking I was crazy lol. She also started her medicine for her PDA , crossing my fingers and praying that it works to close up her little duct. Well off to bed , super tired.Today is the first day we did not go see Caitlin and I miss her so much. I have been reading alot today different preemie stories and gosh all of the problems that I have been reading, I hope Caitlin comes through all of this with no problems or even if so that they are not to major and she can overcome them all. I hate the fact she is going through so much already ughhhh if only I could put her back, which I have said probably a gazillion times on my blog but man oh man I just get so sad when I think about it, that is my baby and there is nothing I can do for her except pump the good ol bb's. Ok really have to go to bed now it is almost midnight and I have ton's to do tomorrow.

Entry for December 26, 2005

Entry for December 26, 2005
ok Quick post just got off phone with the nurse it is 1:15 pm and she still has not had her PIC Line done yet but they did do another Heart Ultra Sound on her and her valve did open more, so it is bigger so they said they are going to start her on a medicine called Indocin and she will be on that for about 5 days to try and close her valve, if that does not work then she will ahve to have surgery to close it, liagate it. I was really hoping it would have closed by itself but I guess not , I kind of expected this of course luckly I have read about it and was some what prepared , but It doesn't make it any easier. Well will put another entry once I find out about her PIC Line.

Entry For December 26,2005

Entry for December 26, 2005
PATENT DUCTUS ARTERIOSUS (PDA)The ductus arteriosus is a normal fetal structure, allowing blood to bypass circulation to the lungs. Since the fetus does not use his/her lungs (oxygen is provided through the mother’s placenta), flow from the right ventricle needs an outlet. The ductus provides this, shunting flow from the left pulmonary artery to the aorta just beyond the origin of the artery to the left subclavian artery. The high levels of oxygen which it is exposed to after birth causes it to close in most cases within 24 hours. When it doesn’t close, it is termed a Patent Ductus Arteriosus.The defect often corrects itself within several months of birth, but may require infusion of chemicals, the placement of "plugs" via catheters, or surgical closure.The flow pattern is similar to the septal defects noted above, except that the shunting occurs outside of the heart. The left ventricle has to pump blood out through the aorta, only to have some of it flow to the lower pressure pulmonary artery, and directly back to the left atrium and ventricle. If a large PDA is not corrected, then the pressures in the pulmonary arteries may become very high and induce changes in the arteries themselves such that even closure of the defect will no longer improve the patient. In this case, the pressures in the right side of the heart are high enough that blood may begin to flow from the right to the left side of the heart. This situation is called "Eisenmenger’s syndrome", a condition which may result from several similar abnormalites.©COPY;1997 HeartPoint Updated November 1997PATENT DUCTUS ARTERIOSUS (PDA)What is the ductus arteriosus?The ductus arteriosus is a wide muscular blood vessel joining the pulmonary artery (main artery to the lungs) to the aorta (main artery to the body). This connection allows blood to be diverted from the lungs into the aorta during fetal development since the baby does not breathe until after delivery. The ductus arteriosus normally closes after birth. If it fails to close, PDA (patent or open ductus arteriosus) occurs and blood continues to flow from the aorta to the pulmonary artery. The effects of this altered circulation are : * increased work of breathing * increased workload on the heart* fluid in the lung* right heart enlargement* increased lung workloadDiagram of the normal heart: blood flows from the left ventricle, into the aorta, and then out to the rest of the body. Diagram of a heart with a PDA (patent ductus arteriosus): blood flows from the left ventricle, into the aorta, and then into the pulmonary artery (instead of going to the body where it is needed).How is a PDA (patent ductus arteriosus) treated?In small or premature babies, medicine may be used first to try to close the ductus arteriosus. In some cases medicine does not work or cannot be used and the ductus arteriosus must be closed surgically. Surgical correction includes closure of the PDA through a left thoracotomy incision (left underarm). The ductus is closed with a clip or is tied shut. In older children, medical treatment does not work. The ductus can be closed surgically or, in some children, a device placed through the artery into the ductus can be used. Just a little information about PDA-Caitlin could possibly have this her little valve did open a little bit so they are going to keep a close eye on it and see if it will close up by itself. Today she is 26 weeks gestation almost 2 weeks old. She has been doing pretty good, still ppretty stable, they had to up her oxigen a little bit yesterday and will start to wean her down a bit. Called last night and she was a wild women again so they had to give her some relax meds to sedate her and calm her down,She is getting a PIC line today, it is a small IV line that goes from her arm all the way up her arm close to her heart and it is for all of her IV's so they do not have to keep poking her , she is getting one of her lines out from her tummy because it is getting loose so that is also the reason for the PIC line. I hate this I wish she could just be in me so she wouldn't have to get poked at and pronged and this and that. It makes me so sad because I am still suppose to be pregnant with both my girls and I feel so empty without them and so scared for Caitlin because you never know what the next 5 mins is going to bring. She is so cute already and such a fighter I can not imagine myself without her now. We brought all of her little gifts yesterday for Christmas and we met our neigbors finally lol. They are such nice people, their names are Jerry and Brittney and their little baby's name is Katie , she is a cutie,she is about 35 weeks I think, she had lost alot of blood from her birth and they pulled her out to early because they were a month off on her due date.Well I will update later on today about how Caitlin did for her PIC line. It is kind of like a minnie surgery , she has to have X-rays so they make sure they place it right and all that yuccky stuff. They have to numb her also. I just hope she does ok and stays infection free because that could happen as well, Gosh I can't believe I am still ahving to worry about infections, I had to worry about them while I was pregnant because that was the biggest worry and also now worry about then for My little princess. Thank goodness for antbiotics but still not always a guarentee. ughhhhhhh.Ok will write later for Caitlins update today.

Entry for December 24, 2005

Entry for December 24, 2005
Caitlin is doing good, she was really fiesty this morning so they had to up her oxigen a little bit and will slowly wean her to a lower level through out the day. She is back on her insulan today she was off for a bit yesterday.She has another head scan on tuesday to check for any brain bleeds and starts a medicine called epogen on monday and will have it 3x a week-mon,wed,fri it is a shot and it is to help stimulate her red blood cells. She is back to 1.5 cc's of milk because the 2.5 cc's was to much for her, she had to skip a feed today though because she had some milk left in her tummie so she didn't digest her last feed from this morning.Diana her 3 day primary nurse found an ornament for Caitlin that had her name on it with perfect spelling which was so sweet because whenever we would look for things with Cailtin's name we always see it spelled a different way. She liked her gift we got her as well,a Angel's calander and 2 angel pens. She was wondering how we knew she liked the Angel's , we just said that Cailtin told us ;0)Today her nurse was kimberly, she was her nurse yesterday also , she is a sweety also. I think that is about it for today, I look at Caitlin and wish so much she could be in my tummie still, I feel so bad when she gets poked at and has to get this and that, I wish she could just be comfoptable in my tummie. We looked at some twins today cuddling in the NICU they were so cute but it did make me sad because it made me think of how much I wish Madilyn could be here with us and how cute it would be to see Cailtin and Madilyn cuddle together and sleep. Well tomorrow we are going to go give Caitlin her gifts after we go to church then go to Aunt Julie's house. We got Caitlin a little dollie,a little bunnie and a couple outfits. She can't wear the outfits for awhile but they are there so when she is ready!!Almost forgot Caitlin is down to 1 lb 3.5 oz. They didn't like when she started gaining to much weight because it ment she had alot of fluid retention so they switched some settings around and now she is good. I can't wait till she starts getting bigger and opens her eyes. I just can't wait till we can take her home!!!

Entry For December 22,2005

Entry for December 22, 2005
Just a quick post, so tired today. Caitlin is doing good, we had a little scare today because her ventalater was not doing the little shaking part it is suppose to do because one of the valves got loose and her heart rate went down real quick but they got it back up. She had a cardio u/s today and her valve or duct(I always forget exactly) is a little bit open but not enough for them to worry to much right now, they are going to keep a close eye on it but of course this is to be expected for her being a preemie. They are going to do another head U/S within the next couple days to make sure she does not have a brain bleed. So many things it is so scary and hard to remember everything. She is still off and on her blood pressure meds as well as insulin, not sure if I posted it or not but yesterday was her last antbiotics and we got to touch her for the first time last night it was so nice but I do not like to touch to much because I don't want to get germs on her. Billy and his neice came by yesterday to pray over Caitlin and my mom is going to visit her tomorrow.We went Christmas shopping last night for Dillon also and what a crazy house, I hate shopping so late but had no choice. Toys r Us was packed super super packed, hardly any toys on the shelves, it was crazy but we got some cool stuff for Dillon.We got him a wrestler ring and 4 wrestlers then we got him a couple ninja turtles and 3 fun games,hungry hippo, ants in pants, and don't spill the beans. Trying to think what else but can't remember. It was so hard to shop for Dillon this year because he is to big for the more babyish toys but to small for more big boy toys we had no idea this year. He is into wrestlers now and action figures so thats what we went for. Can't believe he is not my baby anymore, he is growing so fast and just starting to talk so much. He was singing jinggle bells today, he loves to sing so much maybe he will be a singer later on so he can buy mommy and daddy a big house lol.Oh almost forgot to write this in. Caitlin is 1 lb 9oz today so she is gaining good!!And she pooped today!! Yeahhhhhhh I am a proud mama lol And she was one week yesterday!!!!! Almost 26 weeks gestation, on monday ;0)Well thats about it for todays entry, off to bed and cuddle with Mr. Dillon man

Entry For December 20,2005

You can see on these pictures how fragile and thin Caitlin's skin is

Entry for December 20, 2005

Well today was good. Caitlin is up to 2.5cc of milk and off her blood pressure meds, she has been off and on and will most likely continue that way. She is about 30-35% oxigen but lower on her ventilator. Today she was uncovered and we really got a good peek at her!!! She has so much hair already and it is so dark!!! She looks like her daddy already lol. She is so beautiful we love her so so much!!! Dillon got to see her for the first time yesterday and he was such a good boy, he kept saying cailin, my baby shhhhh babby. It was to cute, Diana, Caitlin's primary day nurse made him a little wrist band that said big brother on it.I am feeling still sad but trying to just be strong, I miss Madilyn so much and just wish she could be here. I miss being pregnant so much, I miss feeling their kicks and just having them inside me. I see pregnant ladies and i wish I could be like them. I am so grateful that Caitlin is here though and just thak god everyday for her!!!!!Today we had some friends come over, Ceaser and his wife Michelle and tom and sue from Jesus's work. they were so nice they came to pray with us and it was so awesome, they also brought us so many gifts. They got me two night outfits, soft socks and some slippers. They brought Jesus some boots and they brought Dillon a sesme street toy,legos and a little doggie. Dillon was so excited and loved the toys so much!!!! He was so amazed and so happy.For Caitlin they brought her a little stuffed doggie,a cute outfit and another shirt it was so cute!!! They were so so nice to do that for us , we appreciate everything everyone has done for us!! Oh yes and some money.We have appreciated so so much what everyone has done for us, gosh so many people have helped us and I wish they knew how much we appreciate everything!!!Well thats about it. I have posted a picture of Caitlin just to see how cute she looks, she is such a good girl.Will update tomorrow(hopefully lol)

Entry For December 18,2005

Entry for December 18, 2005
Gosh it has been a few days since I wrote, I thought I might have wrote one more entry but i guess not. Well I had tried to go home on Thursday but they would not release me because I ended up getting another high fever wed night 101.7 so they said I could have still been infected. I was so bummed but I stayed.Hospital totaly was a bummer because I was on tons of antbiotics still,my IV started to hurt really bad, got some fluid in my tissue so they had to restart another one, then on top of that I had to get blood drawn 2 times in the day super early in the morning. blughhhhhhhAnyway got to go home on Friday, was nice. Left hospital, went to target to get a couple things I needed then picked up Dillon from school, I had not seen him for 5 long days so when I saw him I totaly started to cry and could not stop, I missed him so much and on top of my emotions it was not a pretty site. Got home and I just layed kind of low.Saturday, got up went to go see Caitlin then me and Jesus went to mi casa's resturaunt ate, ran home got my pump and went to his sisters house and were there for a bit for her birthday, can't believe all the running around we did yesterday.Today well today has been ok. Dillon had a small little play at his school today he was a shepard and had a very funny moment. First he was chweing gum and when they were up front he spotted me and said here mommie, I don't want it (about the gum) then he went back over to his spot and pushed another kid behind him, teachers fixed him, Dillon started crying and then just had a pout on his face it was to funny. So after that we went to church, I got so emotinal there, we had the pastor pray with us so that was nice. I am just having such a hard time today all I want to do is cry cry and cry some more.I am really starting to feel the loss of Madilyn and scared for Cailtin. I miss them so much in my tummie, it just was to early I want them back in there!!! I Miss Madilyn so much, so much!!!And Caitlin she is so small, I have a good feeling she is going to make it but we have such a long road ahead of us and so many downs and up's I am just so scared,angry,sad just overwhelmed, I feel so empty inside and i do not know how to get me back, I guess it will just take time but man can't I just fast foward.I know god has a reason for everything but it is hard to sometimes except that. I know I am not expected to be ok with it and I so am trying to be ok with it but it just hurts so bad. I just wish so bad they could both be here. I know God needed another Angel and Madilyn is Caitlin's angel. It still just hurts so bad. Well as far as Caitlin's condition she is doing so awesome for everything she has gone through and being so small. She has been stable for the most part. Yesterday she had to have her first blood transfusion because they have been testing her blood alot that they needed to put some back in, she is so small and she can not regenerate her own blood quite yet so she was getting anemic.Her oxigen level is at a 28% which is super great considering some babies have to have 100% so she is such a trooper!!!! Today was her first feed of mommies milk!!! She had 1cc and if she keeps doing good she will get it every 8 hours.Luckly I showed up just in time because the nurse was just getting her ready for her feed. She gets it through a tube, it goes through her mouth into her stomach and then there goes 1cc. she is on blood pressure meds still because her pressure goes high so she is on all sorts of medicines. She is still on antibiotics because I had an infection so to make sure she did not get it also, I think they will take her off in a couple days. Hopefully she stays nice and healthy. Well thats about it for now. Will try and write tomorrow. Tomorrow will be Dillon's first day to see Caitlin, we will see how that goes. It should be very interesting.

Entry For December 14,2005

Entry for December 14, 2005
Caitlin Gean Santillan is here. What a night from yesterday, My fever ended up going down but then Dr.Asrat came in and disscused with me that he would not give me tylenolfor fever again, that it could be masking an infection. he then decided that it would be best if I were to have an amniocintesis so we could check Caitlin's sac to make sure I did not have an infection. At first I did not want to because I was afraid of rupturing but then talked to Jesus and we decided that it was proabably the best thing just in case. Amnio went pretty quickly, hurt a little bit but I tried to stay as still as possible because I did not want a big hole in case I moved. We were suppose to get results within couple hours but needed to wait a couple days for some bacteria part of it. Well first resluts of it came back ok but then I started noticing that I was bleeding more but it was more watery, got me a little worried of course so I kept telling my nurse, she then thought it was possible that i could have ruptured. she then called another peri and they decided to put me in a labor and delivery room, all of a sudden things really started to progress fast. I started getting fast contarctions out of no where and pain after pain. It took them forever to get me an epidural and by that point my contarctions were coming one after the other which seemed like only a minute apart. Finally they came with an epidural but it did not seem to be working at all and each one Caitlin kept coming more down and more down, she was breeched same way as Madilyn was and I had even told the nurse that and begged for a C-section but things happend just way to fast. My water bag totaly ruptured on on of my contractions and I could feel Cailtin moving even more down. Kept yelling she is coming I am not going to make it for my C-section and sure enough I didn't. We got to the operating room but still my epidural was not working and then wam here was Caitlin, feet first into the world at 2:58 am weighing 1 lb 4oz on Decemebr 14,2005. I ended up finding out I got a bad infection so it was for the best to deliver Caitlin. I was crying so much telling them please don't let them give up on her and to fight really hard for her.She is doing good right now, she came out fiesty so they had to give her some medicine to calm her down and get her to relax. She is really pink and she really does look great for being a 24 weeker. We have a long road ahead of us and scary. They said it would be a rollercoaster for a bit, that she is going to have bad days as well as good and we just have to take it day by day. Shbe is on oxegen and all the respirators right now, she has like a saran wrap cover over her to keep her body tempature good because her skin is so so thin. She has so many tubes and a eye mask because her eyes are still fuesed shut, but she really is cute, so small but so cute. Her toes are so long and she wiggles them alot. Well will keep posting and writting about our journey through NICU. I am so happy she is here witj us. Caitlin is such a fighter and we are going to fight with her everyday and leave it in god's hands and just keep praying, she has been such a miracle so far and will continue to be. we love her so much and still can't believe everythign we have been going through just to make it to this point. So here is to a roller coaster ride but will all be worth it just to bring our precious little girl home.

Entry For December 13,2005

Entry for December 13, 2005
Today was a scary day, I got a fever 100.6 but they are hoping I just got a small flu or something. they did a blood count and it wasn't to concerning for them , thank god. They gave me tylenol and that broke my fever, it was def awful though, I got so weak and I thought for sure they would want to deliver me but they didn't. I just kept telling everybody if they have to deliver me please fight for my little girl and don't stop any treatment , I know there could be alot of complications but nothing we are not going to try and fight hard for, luckly it hasn't had to come to that!!!!I have just been laying low I miss Dillon and Jesus so much, this def is hard, bleeding has slowed down a bit and not as much goopey yucky stuff.Also I have not been having cramps today which feels so much better, who knows what is going on inside my body but everything is so worth to get to see my little Caitlin survive and that is what we are fighting for !!!!Well thats it, want to rest as much as possible so I don't get another fever, so until tomorrow.

Entry For December 12,2005

Entry for December 12, 2005
24 weeks Today!!!!!Didn't get a chance to write yesterday, just kept putting it off I guess. Yesterday morning I woke up with heavier bleeding and just tons of goope coming out which scared me a little but it did subside through out the day. Just layed low a bit. If I would have contracted at all then they would not have put me on anti-contracting medicine because I wasn't to the 24 week mark, seemed silly to be because it was off one day but luckly I did not contract.Billy came by with his two nieces which was nice. It is so nice to have them come because I have someone to talk to and like I said before I love the prayers and what he tells me from the bible.Also my mom came by and brought me a seek, circle book and some other little goodies.Dillon and Jesus also came by in the later evening but I had to send them home so quick because Dillon had a cough and it sounded like Jesus was starting to get a cough and I just can not risk getting sick right now. Bummer though because I really missed my time with them. I will not be able to see them again today and probably not tomorrow because they are still sick and actually sound worse today. Hopefully they get better soon.Well as for Today same thing , I actually woke up at about 3:30am with heavier blood and all the goope I was talking about, called my nurse but it took like a half hour before she came in , I guess she did not get the call or there was mix up some how, anyway I was up for a bit and a little crampy , kind of like menstrual cramps but no contarctions. They had put me on the toko machine to check for a little while for the contarctions but it showed no signs so that was good.Caitlins heart beat was good so where all this blood is coming from who knows.Had my blood drawn at about 5 am to check for infection and then I finally fell back asleep until about 7:30. Still had some of the heavier bleeding with all the goop but it seems to slow a little bit.I am still some what crampy here and there but no contractions. Caitlin is back on my cervix I think beacause I feel a kick or two here and there. I just pray that I can hold onto her for a bit longer even just a few more weeks so there is a better chance for her.I finally got my first steroid shot today to help her lungs and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be hurt just a pinch and just small little burn but nothing bad and it is for the good so well worth it.This has definitly been one scary pregnancy. I hope I do not have to experience anything like this ever again. Me and Jesus will proabably try one more time for another baby down the line. If Caitlin makes it, which I pray she does, we will wait a few years so we can dedicate a lot of our time to her and Dillon, that way also if something like this happens again they will be old enough to kind of do little things for themselves. Dillon would be a big boy by then and he is already mommies helper, he just loves getting into the mix of everything, he always wants a turn even though sometimes it could make for a bigger mess, it is cute to watch him try and do things.Well thats about it, hopefully we will have a pretty quiet and uneventful day.

Entry for December 10, 2005

Entry for December 10, 2005
Today has been a pretty good day, started out kind of slow and was reall tired today even took a small little nap around 9 am or so just could not get into the day today. Was feeling a little depressed today, just got a very lonely and sad overwhelming feeling , so I called my best friend Erika and she put me ina better mood. Haven't actually talked to her for a few days which is not that normal for us, we will do that sometimes but it really does not happen much , we used to be on the phone constantly could even be like 10 times a day, pretty crazy but always had soemthignt to say or hear some kind of news lol. Anyway don't think I could actually be without her, she is def my best friend and always there when i need her, She is going to have another baby, I am so excited I can not wait to fnd out what she is having , I think girl for some reason but that could also be my wishful thinking.Well Dr came in today and gave me good news which was exciting!!!! Took me off Antibiotics today which is a little scary because I do not want to get an infection and if I do they will make me deliver but we will just pray to stay infection free, its out of my hands, I can just try to prevent it which I have been doing by eating lots of yogurt and drinking lots of cranberry juice and using the antbacterial wipes.Anyway for the good news is that I get my first steroid shot on Monday then Tuesday to try and stregthen Caitlin's lungs so if she comes super early she has a better chance at surrvival. Also If I do start to have contractions at this point on they will give me medicine to try and stop labor which puts me a little more relaxed.Well thats about it. Just waiting for Dillon and Jesus to come visit in a couple more hours , can't wait because I have been so lonely and bored today, weekends seem to go by a lot longer then during the week becuase there is nothing on t.v just seems so long. Till tomorrow

Entry for December 09,2005

Entry for December 09, 2005
Well Dr. just left and he was actually in a good mood today because he was nice possitive today, funny how sometimes he can be so upbeat and other times kind of blah. I asked him if I make it to 24 weeks if i do start to contract that if I could have anti-contracting medicine and he said he didn't see why not so that is good to hear, also I will probably get steroid shot on monday as well!!!!! So good news I will be so excited to make it to that point, it seems like forever since this whole nightmare began at 18wks pregnant and we have traveled a long hard road but we are making it and fighting this and getting good things. I have talked to a few people today and it has been nice. but it is hard to talk about Madilyn right now because it is still so fresh and I won't be able to fully mourn her and have closer until I am out from the hospital and have her funera. I have got to stay strong for Caitlin right now and not get my body not to upset or stressed out because that would not be good, so I am trying to keep my spirits high, and God has gave me so much stregnth to do so and I thank him everyday for that!!!! He is definitly an awesome God and has been so great to my family for letting me hold on and just knowing that Madilyn is up there with him in such a happy and beautiful place is so good!!!! Well thats about it for today, unless something happens later I will post tomorrow.Jesus and Dillon will come in a few hours and it will be nice to spend some time with them, Always fun although Dillon is so busy and all over the place, he cracks me up so much. He is doing this new funny thing , he looks in the morror and starts lifting his eye brows up and down, its so funny. Ok until tomorrow

Entry for December 08,2005

Entry for December 08, 2005
Well made it through another day!!!! Last night Billy and his neice came by and also my mom.It always calms me down when billy comes (my old pastor) I think because him reading my the bible and phrases then explaining them to me and it just gives me a piece of mind and just makes me think everything is going to be ok.Today has been pretty good, I haven't felt Cailtin to much today, hoping she is sleeping and just going through a gowth spurt.Jesus and Dillon are coming to visit tonight , they didn't get to come last night since Caitlin was on my cervix so much, we felt it would be better for me to just relax all day.Saw Dr. Feldman today and said I was doing good, told him about Caitlin being on my cervix last night and of course had a negative response, of course I know he s just being honest and has to tell me the bad of it , but come on you would think he could at least have a heart and say it in a nice way or give me some kind of encouragment to not bring my spirits down.I Asked him if I were to contract this point on in my pregnancy if he would give me anti- contracting medicine , he said no, so I am guessing I have to be that magic 24 week mark. I just hope that Caitlin hangs in there for a good while, we have been fighting so hard Caitlin and I, its a hard job but somebody's got to do it!!!!!!!Oh almost forgot , my sister Sheree came by today, was only here for about 45 minutes if that, but of course thats my sister always in 5 billion places at one time. It is kind of a bummer we don't have a stronger relationship because she always has a million things going on but thats ok, you learn to just get used to things. We have a great time when we are together just don't talk much as we probably should. She brought me a few books today so I can have something to do so that is great.Well thats about it for today, not to much to report as far as Caitlin goes, been pretty quiet which is always good cause it means another day we made it!!!!!Until tomorrow !Melissa

Entry For December 07,2005

Entry for December 07, 2005
My name is Melissa and I wanted to start this blog to doccument my pregnancy, well starting from when I PPROM'ed whic means premature rupture of membranes. I am starting this a little bit late, for one I could not figure out how to get a blog, then I wasn't sure whether or not to write about it so I will try and detail the last 5 weeks till now and hopefully keep updating daily.Well first off My name is Melissa as I had metioned and I am married to Jesus, I have a 2.5 yr old named Dillon and I was pregnant with twin girls.It took us a bit to get here through IVF but have been blessed to get pg 2 times in a row from IVF.First one resulting in my son and second one resulting in twin girls. However I lost one of my girls at 21wk6/7 here is how that part began.November 5th 12 amI woke up and felt leaking wasn't sure what it was but when I felt a gush I just knew I had broke my bag of water. Jesus was just getting home and I told him we have to go to the hospital I think I broke my water,He got so worried as well as I was but was just so numb didn't know what to say. We got to the hospital and they did confirm I had ruptured one of my girls bags, Me and my husband were so devastated, they told us that basiclly I was to go home and wait to misscarry.How could they tell me that?These were my little girls, I was so scared and not sure what to expect how can I just go home and wait for them to come out what would I do with them,I didn't know what to do but to go home and just wait.Next morning me and Jesus went to another hospital, I could not just wait and not do nothing.We went to the other hospital and we were there all day long,we had an ultra sound done and then again confirmed that I had ruptured but that our other little girl had a full sac of water and own pacenta and she was doing great. Both the girls heart beats were still beating, I couldn't believe it, I guess I did not know what to expect though.They gave me so many indications of what could happen, here they are-1.I could go into labor anytime and deliver them both.2.I could go into labor and deliver the one who ruptured and possibly keep the other twin in.3.My body could get a big infection that could cause me to lose my uterus and have to deliver.I could not believe it and was so so scared. how was I suppose to deal with this, what am I going to do and why can't I stop this?So after our long day we decided to wait it out risk an infection to save my girls lives and just strict bedrest at home, if I made it to 24 weeks then I would get admitted into the hospital and then put on steroid shots to try and boost thier lungs. Had an appointment with out periontoligist on monday and we would get more detail, they tried to cancel me for the next day but I said no way I have been waiting all weekend there is no way I am waiting one more day. We met with the peri and they of course gave us our risk and even told us the girls could have extreme dissibilites it was hard to hear but still didn't change our minds,we were also advised to ossibly terminate the pregnancy to save from infection, not an option for us we said.Weeks went by I was on strct bedrest, continued to leak fluid and even had bleeding here and there, even clots, each day was so scary and so long to get to the next but I was detrmined to save my girls. We had blood test done weekly to check for infection and even had u/s to check on fluid and how they were doing. Madilyn still had no fluid but still had her heartbeat, Caitlin still had all her fluid and also a strong heartbeat. Now I PPROM'ed at 18 weeks 5 days so getting to the 24 week mark was going to be a long road but I was determined!!!Well Friday November 25th I went back into the hospital because i was staring to bleed a little bit more then what I was used to and even had bigger clots, stayed there all night and they kept a close watch on me, I was even having contractions but really not feeling them. They did an ultra sound sat morning and it looked like Madilyn was right now my cervix but they felt it was ok for me to go home because my bleeding had slowed down and wasn't to bad anymore. We went home and i layed low all day, that night I started to bleed some more and calle dthe Dr , she said just keep an eye and if it started getting really bad to go back, I said alright.Sun November 27 , 5 am I woke up still bleeding but I felt as though Madilyns foot was out in my cervix, oh my goodness that was scary, called the Dr told my husband so we went back in. Sure enough it was her foot. I was so sad and scared I tried so hard to keep them in there safe but I guess it was time for her to come on out. I was having contractions and 7 hours later Madilyn was born at 1:30 pm, she passed away a couple hours later in our arms, I couldn't believe it, I was so sad and cried and cried, along with Jesus and my mom, after I had her I was still having contarctions, I was praying they would stop so that I could atleast hold on to Caitlin so I could get her further along so she had a chance to survive, Finally they stopped in the later evening and I was being closely watched still numb from having Madilyn but I was happy that I was hopefully going to carry Caitlin a little longer.Well that brings us here to Today, I have been in the hospital for a week in a half. I havent had any more contractions and Caitlin has been doing so good. I had an Ultra Sound done on monday and it looks like my cervix might have closed back up and I am at a 2.1 cm long on my cervix.I have been on Antibiotics since I came into the hospital and not really sure how long I will stay on them. It has been a scary road not sure what each day is going to bring not even the next 5 mins but some how with god'strength I have been pretty strong.See I have renewed my relationship with god through all of this which has been so awesome and I have had so many people praying for us, this has been so good because he has been giving me so so much strength to try to not get upset over Madilyn so I can be strong for Caitlin, I am not sure if I have totaly mourned Madilyn's death yet but just try not to get to upset right now because I really do need to be strong for Caitlin. Today has been an ok day Caitlin is right onmy cervix today kicking away which scares me because that is what i felt from Madilyn the day before she came out so I am hoping that Caitlin moves up soon so she does not disturb my cervix and want to come out yet. I am 23 weeks and 2 days right now.Almost close to that golden 24 week viable stone but the longer she stays in the better.They will give me steroids at 24 weeks and we will go from there. I will try and post each day my progress it will be a little more easier because then I can be more detailed. So thats it for my first post, a long one I know but had to try and start the story some how. Well until tomorrow.Melissa 23wks2/7